Carl J's funny story about his little sister

So my little sister is one of the smartest people I know, I mean hey

hey she is almost as smart as me.  Once about 30 years ago she called

me and said she had some troubles.   I drove from Houston Texas to OKC

in about 7 hours, the fastest I've ever driven it.  I found her (and I

think she was about 20 at the time) in her apartment.  She had been in

a motorcycle accident.  A bit of roadrash and a few puncture wounds and

pretty much banged up all around.  I was so relieved to see that she

was OK, a little bit shaken up,  and in my mind I was thinking,… yep. 

Fortunately while I was busy being a gypsy my friends were in medical

school and gave us the needed supplies to fix her up.  I also

discovered that there were donuts in the carpet in her living room, -

probably caused by motorcycles.  I think it was her

first and last foray into that crazy stupid partying life that I had

only read about in books. And seen on TV..

So I did what any good brother would do.  I gave her a Marlin 30 30

rifle and some bullets and showed her how to use it, just in case any

of the easy riders came back.

Well, about every three or four years I ask her if I can have my gun

back.  I mean my Dad bought me that gun in 1975 and paid well over 80

dollars for it.  She always says, I'm not sure where it is, um... Keith

is hunting with it right now, it's part of our holiday decorations or

some bullshit excuse not to give it back to me.

Anyway that's how me and my sister are, she is so smart and anal about

stuff and I pretend not to be so we basically equal each other out and

manage not to drive each other insane.  But.

Then she does stuff that only I usually get to laugh about.

As we are both getting older we both ended up working for schools.  I'm

at a chi chi private school and she is at a college. We are both proud

college dropouts and still consider our curriculum “in progress.” About

2 weeks ago she called me and ask me the address of my school.  I gave

her the address and said “If you are going to finally send me my gun

back, it might not be a good idea to send it to my school”  We both

laughed.

So a few days ago I get this package and I can tell from a hundred

yards away its from her because she overtapes everything she packs.  I

take it back to my office to open it.  Now when I get a package at work

it's usually new uniforms or equipment or something my staff all look

forward to.  So they huddled around me while I was opening the box. 

The police at the school are always in my kitchen in the mornings

looking for doughnuts and criminals so they were checking it out as

well.

Yvonne decided to buy me some kitchen refrigerator magnets called “the

stoner poets” version.  For some reason. She also decided at the last

minute to send me a baggie with some of her freshly grown thyme and

sage. IN THE SAME BOX TO A SCHOOL.

Well, my staff and the police,  swat team and homeland security all

thought it was hilarious and said stuff like “your sister owned you

brother, how are you gong to get back at her?”......

Now the funny part.  She calls me and I tell her the implications her

overtaped package might have caused. And it took me about five minutes

to explain about a baggie of fresh herbs being sent to my school and

thank god I got donuts, no tattoos and everybody kind of likes me.

She laughed for 15 minutes when she finally got it.