So my little sister is one of the smartest people I know,
I mean hey
hey she is almost as smart as me. Once about 30 years ago she called
me and said she had some troubles. I drove from Houston Texas to OKC
in about 7 hours, the fastest I've ever driven it. I found her (and I
think she was about 20 at the time) in her
apartment. She had been in
a motorcycle accident.
A bit of roadrash and a few puncture wounds and
pretty much banged up all around. I was so relieved to see that she
was OK, a little bit shaken up, and in my mind I was thinking,… yep.
Fortunately while I was busy being a gypsy my friends
were in medical
school and gave us the needed supplies to fix her
up. I also
discovered that there were donuts in the carpet in her
living room, -
probably caused by motorcycles. I
think it was her
first and last foray into that crazy stupid partying life
that I had
only read about in books. And seen on TV..
So I did what any good brother would do. I gave her a Marlin 30 30
rifle and some bullets and showed her how to use it, just
in case any
of the easy riders came back.
Well, about every three or four years I ask her if I can
have my gun
back. I mean my
Dad bought me that gun in 1975 and paid well over 80
dollars for it.
She always says, I'm not sure where it is, um... Keith
is hunting with it right now, it's part of our holiday
decorations or
some bullshit excuse not to give it back to me.
Anyway that's how me and my sister are, she is so smart
and anal about
stuff and I pretend not to be so we basically equal each
other out and
manage not to drive each other insane. But.
Then she does stuff that only I usually get to laugh
about.
As we are both getting older we both ended up working for
schools. I'm
at a chi chi private school and she is at a college. We
are both proud
college dropouts and still consider our curriculum “in
progress.” About
2 weeks ago she called me and ask me the address of my
school. I gave
her the address and said “If you are going to finally
send me my gun
back, it might not be a good idea to send it to my
school” We both
laughed.
So a few days ago I get this package and I can tell from
a hundred
yards away its from her because she overtapes everything
she packs. I
take it back to my office to open it. Now when I get a package at work
it's usually new uniforms or equipment or something my
staff all look
forward to. So
they huddled around me while I was opening the box.
The police at the school are always in my kitchen in the
mornings
looking for doughnuts and criminals so they were checking
it out as
well.
Yvonne decided to buy me some kitchen refrigerator
magnets called “the
stoner poets” version.
For some reason. She also decided at the last
minute to send me a baggie with some of her freshly grown
thyme and
sage. IN THE SAME BOX TO A SCHOOL.
Well, my staff and the police, swat team and homeland security all
thought it was hilarious and said stuff like “your sister
owned you
brother, how are you gong to get back at her?”......
Now the funny part.
She calls me and I tell her the implications her
overtaped package might have caused. And it took me about
five minutes
to explain about a baggie of fresh herbs being sent to my
school and
thank god I got donuts, no tattoos and everybody kind of
likes me.
She laughed for 15 minutes when she finally got it.
